Slack Security Bros

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# Slack Chat: "GlobalOps Elite StrykeForce Eagle Talon USA! Number One!"

Channel: #big-strategy

Waltz_420: WAZZZZZZUPPPP!!!

Petey_GeoOp: WAZZZZZZUPPPPPP!!!

Vance1488_NoHomo: WAZZUUUUPPPPPP LADS

AmericanSecurityComrade: ...Hello.

Waltz_420: LOL, D-Money, you gotta get in on this, bro.

AmericanSecurityComrade: Waz… up?

Petey_GeoOp: LOL, bro. That was painful.

Vance1488_NoHomo: Alright boys, down to business. We need some cool "ops ideas" for Ukraine. Something BIG. Something LOUD. Something that gets clicks.

Waltz_420: Like, what if we just YOLO a whole batch of those old Bradleys straight through the front? No strategy, just "send it."

AmericanSecurityComrade: I assume by "YOLO" you mean a reckless frontal assault with mechanized infantry?

Petey_GeoOp: Yeah, man. Shock and awe.

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: (joining) That is…not how shock and awe works.

Waltz_420: LOL bro, classic D-Money #2, always with the serious vibes.

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: This is a military planning discussion, yes?

Vance1488_NoHomo: Technically. But also, like, a vibe check, y’know?

AmericanSecurityComrade: A what check?

Petey_GeoOp: A vibe check, bro. Like, Ukraine's got some rough vibes. We gotta fix that.

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: Fix that… with vibes?

Waltz_420: And tanks, bro.

Vance1488_NoHomo: Okay but hear me out: We airdrop influencer-tier gear to frontline units. High-end sunglasses, tactical vests, GoPros, maybe some of those $400 sneakers. Give ‘em that "operator chic" look for social engagement.

Petey_GeoOp: OOOOH, yeah, bro. Make war W A V Y.

AmericanSecurityComrade: Make… war… wavy?

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: (DM to Petrova) I cannot do this anymore.

Waltz_420: Also, can we talk about Poland? Like, bro, those guys are amped right now. We should probably do some kinda power move over there. Maybe just, like, accidentally deploy a unit too close to the border?

Vance1488_NoHomo: OOF, yeah, bro. “Oopsie, we stationed an entire armored brigade near Warsaw.”

Petey_GeoOp: "Our bad, Poland. LOL."

AmericanSecurityComrade: You are suggesting intentionally provoking a NATO ally?

Vance1488_NoHomo: Yeah, but like, chill.

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: (DM to AmericanSecurityComrade) These men are imbeciles. I am wasting my life.

Waltz_420: ALSO, yo, should we, like, lean on Germany a bit? Get them to step up? Or step down?

Petey_GeoOp: We could, like, start a rumor. Maybe say their chancellor has a vape problem?

Vance1488_NoHomo: LMAO bro, imagine Scholz getting caught ripping a fat cloud mid-policy meeting.

AmericanSecurityComrade: I do not see how this assists your strategic objectives.

Waltz_420: Bro, you gotta think outside the box.

Dmitry_from_Nebraska: (DM to AmericanSecurityComrade) I am defecting. I refuse to report any more of this nonsense. Let the Kremlin figure this out themselves.

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